Top 10 Posts

Day 64: “Orgies and puppies…” – Korday, Kazakhstan
I attempted a couple of covert sniffs of my armpit, to assess the damage. I’m ashamed to admit that a pungent aroma assaulted my nostrils. Disgusted, I retched and had to physically shake myself back to my senses.

Day 59: Sayram Lake & The Dzungarian Gate, China to Kazakhstan
I knew we were in trouble when the driver started swearing in Kazakh. I don’t speak Kazakh, I didn’t have to. Fear is universal.

Day 50: Deserted in the Gobi – to Yongdeng
“Well, on the plus side,” said Michael, surveying the valley with a somewhat studious look on his face. “I’ve started to see quite a few caves around.”

Day 15: “It must be Sayang…” – Singapore
Suddenly and inexplicably he came out with: “Do you know any gay people in Singapore?”
It was at this point that I realised we were still shaking hands.

Day 40: “The gooch scraper…” – Kunming
The contorted look of determination on the boy’s face, while he scoured away at that man’s crotch, as if he was a squire scraping the rust from a suit of armour’s cod-piece, will haunt my dreams for many years to come.

Day 77: “Dam you Kitler…” – Kazakhstan Immigration
I winced in concentration, but all I could think about was bloody Kitler, marching the goose-step through the streets of Berlin, with an army of stern looking cats behind him doing the same.

Day 85: Putting the Tea in Turkey – Rize
“Mmmmmmm…” he droned, before opening one eye and, like a Sommelier, he swirled the tea in his glass.

Day 60: “Equine Dining” – Almaty, Kazakhstan
I popped the flaccid slug into my mouth and I started to chew…. and chew, and chew…. and then chew some more.

Day 79: “Rich Tea with Mama…” – Baku, Azerbaijan
“Oh no, no, no, Mama, I’ve just used this water for washing,” I said, realising that she’d boiled the water for tea and not for me to wash with.

Day 99: Stinging Pain and Emotional Restlessness – Luxembourg
They take a candle, which they pierce with needles, and as the candle burns, the needles heat up and the object of vengeance will feel stinging pain and emotional restlessness.