Rize Tea, Turkey

Day 85: Putting the Tea in Turkey – Rize

“Mmmmmmm...” he droned, before opening one eye and, like a Sommelier, he swirled the tea in his glass.

Hitchhiking in Azerbaijan, Baku

Day 79: “Rich Tea with Mama…” – Baku, Azerbaijan

“Oh no, no, no, Mama, I’ve just used this water for washing,” I said, realising that she’d boiled the water for tea and not for me to wash with.


Day 77: “Dam you Kitler…” – Kazakhstan Immigration

I winced in concentration, but all I could think about was bloody Kitler, marching the goose-step through the streets of Berlin, with an army of stern looking cats behind him doing the same.

Day 64: “Orgies and puppies…” – Korday, Kazakhstan

Day 64: “Orgies and puppies…” – Korday, Kazakhstan

I attempted a couple of covert sniffs of my armpit, to assess the damage. I’m ashamed to admit that a pungent aroma assaulted my nostrils. Disgusted, I retched and had to physically shake myself back to my senses.

Day 60: “Equine Dining” – Almaty, Kazakhstan

I popped the flaccid slug into my mouth and I started to chew…. and chew, and chew…. and then chew some more.

The Dzungarian Gate

Day 59: Sayram Lake & The Dzungarian Gate, China to Kazakhstan

I knew we were in trouble when the driver started swearing in Kazakh. I don’t speak Kazakh, I didn’t have to. Fear is universal.

Day 50: Deserted in the Gobi - to Yongdeng

Day 50: Deserted in the Gobi – to Yongdeng

“Well, on the plus side,” said Michael, surveying the valley with a somewhat studious look on his face. “I’ve started to see quite a few caves around.”

Day 40: “The gooch scraper…” – Kunming

The contorted look of determination on the boy’s face, while he scoured away at that man’s crotch, as if he was a squire scraping the rust from a suit of armour’s cod-piece, will haunt my dreams for many years to come.


Day 15: “It must be Sayang…” – Singapore

Suddenly and inexplicably he came out with: “Do you know any gay people in Singapore?” It was at this point that I realised we were still shaking hands.